Excerpts from The Seduction of Christianity

First Excerpt

The Second Test

Satan is utterly disgusted with Job’s faithfulness to continue to love and serve God, despite the huge and unprovoked disasters He had brought upon Job. (Since Job knew nothing of the behind-the-scenes negotiations, I speak as if God had brought this disaster upon Job, because that is how Job would have seen it.)
So at the next heavenly meeting, the Lord is so proud of His son, Job. He points out to satan what satan has already observed: that Job has maintained his faith, trust and integrity towards God. Satan’s snarling reply gives me the chills:

“Skin for skin! Yes, all that a man has he will give for his life. But stretch out Your hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will surely curse You to Your face!” (Job 2:4-5).

The enemy lives to sow mistrust between man and God. He first accuses us before the Lord, trying to convince the Lord that we don’t actually love Him. Then later, when the enemy cruelly afflicts the Lord’s children, he accuses Him before us, making sure we know how mean and spiteful the Lord is to strike us with such sorrows. He is so jealous of our love relationship with the Lord that he will try to sow discord and mistrust in both directions.
And to silence His enemy’s evil tongue once again, the Lord grants satan permission to afflict Job’s bones and flesh with the most painful of all diseases, without actually killing him. This terrible plague was Job’s second test of his relationship with God. His response would put most of us to shame. When his wife feels that the Lord has completely forsaken her unfortunate husband, she says, “Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!”
Job rebukes the foolishness of his wife’s response, and speaks to her with wisdom.

“You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips (vs. 10).

After some period of intense suffering, Job opens his mouth, but still does not curse God. However, he does curse the day of his birth. His misery is so great that he wishes he had never been born; surely this would have been better than this gnawing agony that never stops, day or night.
His three friends have come from afar to comfort him. When they see his hideously disfigured form, they wail and mourn, put dust on their heads, and sit on the ground with him silently for seven days. Although we speak ill of Job’s comforters, we have rarely, if ever, seen such mourning and loyalty from any friends or family in our culture.

Job’s Third Test

Job’s physical agony is increased by his inability to find the Lord he has loved and served all his life in this terrible trial. His friends have a great deal of insight about God, righteousness, and the justification of suffering. Some of what they say is true, but much of it attempts to find fault with Job, since there is no other logical explanation for this “punishment.”
The first friend to comment is Eliphaz. Interestingly, he reports having had an eerie visitation from some kind of spirit, who gave him a word of “wisdom” for Job (see 4:12-21). As we read this first speech, we might conclude that this was an evil spirit who visited him, not the Holy Spirit. Essentially, he accuses Job of being a resentful fool. Even so, there are true statements mingled in with less sympathetic declarations.
Without doing an elaborate study of the cycles of speeches, alternating between Job’s three friends and Job’s desperate rebuttals, we will only look at a few key elements of Job’s case.
As he continues to answer his friends’ theological explanations for punishment and logical accusations, Job is saying:
“You don’t understand. If only I could find Him. If only I could schedule a date in court with the great judge. I know I could plead my case with Him. I know I could show Him the life I’ve lived. My conscience is clear. This can’t be happening to me, this isn’t the God I know. This punishment is unjust.
“Couldn’t you just stop accusing me, and share my pain? Couldn’t you just stand with me in the terrible bewilderment and abandonment I am feeling right now? Do you have to keep telling me this is my fault? Couldn’t you pray with me, instead of telling me all the right reasons that this is happening to me, none of which are true?
“I just have to find Him and reason with Him. But that’s the problem! I can’t find Him to talk to Him. He has disappeared, and left me dying in my rotting flesh, with only my three best friends here to tell me what I must have done wrong.
“I am so alone in my suffering, and even God has deserted me. I know I didn’t sin, I can prove it. But who will hear my self-defense?”
One of the hardest aspects of Job’s third test was that the voice of the accuser came through friends. And one of his friends received his theological wisdom from the visitation of an evil spirit. He was being used by the enemy, but thought he was “helping” Job see the error of his ways!
Oh, how the church has fallen from her first love, her first compassion and intercessions. How often the enemy has used Christians to accuse their brothers sisters, even gloating when those they dislike get sick and die. The greatest woundings often come from the “house of our friends,” from the ones who should be comforting us (see Zech. 13:6).
Recently, a woman I know sent me a long Christian article criticizing a prophetic man whom I happen to respect. She was trying to show me how dangerous this man’s teaching was. The article was taking his statements out of context and deliberately making them seem heretical, when in fact, his beliefs were biblically legitimate.
Then the writer of the article hit a new depth of cruelty by reporting that this prophetic man had a life-threatening illness and was currently in the hospital. This information was not shared out of compassion, nor did it encourage the reader to pray for him. It was mentioned to show the reader that the Lord was angry with this man and had smitten him with a terrible disease. I heard the accuser’s voice in the mouth of Christians, just like Job’s friends. How far we have fallen from 1 Corinthians 13 love!
It is heartbreaking to hear Job’s desperate need to understand WHY this is happening. Since he knows nothing of satan’s involvement, Job laments that God is sovereignly dealing harshly with the good and the wicked alike. He laments, “If this isn’t God doing this, then who is it?”

“He destroys both the blameless and the wicked. When a scourge brings sudden death, he mocks the despair of the innocent. When the land falls into the hands of the wicked, he blindfolds the judges. If it is not he, then who is it?” (9:22-24, NIV).
Silencing the Enemy with Faith

Despite thinking that the Lord is unjust, Job cannot accept his friends “smearing him with lies” (see 13:4, NIV). He still believes he will be vindicated somehow, at some point. Not only that, but this man believes in the resurrection of the dead! This takes great faith, brothers and sisters. Consider these passages below.

“Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him; Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him. He also shall be my salvation. For a hypocrite could not come before Him.
“Oh, that You would hide me in the grave, that You would conceal me until Your wrath is past, that You would appoint me a set time, and remember me!
“If a man dies, shall he live again? All the days of my hard service I will wait, till my change comes” (13:15-16, 14:13-14).

Job believes that he will die of this illness, which is not an unreasonable belief, given his infected condition, fever and weight loss; death seems preferable to the agony he endures night and day, for what appears to be a nine-month period.
But the passage above is remarkable. Even King David’s expressions about the grave carried a grim finality. People that went to the grave would never see the light of day again (with the exception of David’s prophecy about Messiah’s resurrection in Psalm 22). He didn’t seem to speak about the resurrection as Job did.
Consider this sentence: “that You would hide me in the grave until Your wrath is past, that You would appoint a set time and remember me.” The word “until” tells us that he knew that death was temporary. Oh, I cannot wait to meet this man! Is he not one of the great cloud of witnesses, cheering us on through our suffering, diseases, poverty, mental afflictions and martyrdoms? Is he not cheering us on through our doubts, when heaven seems like a distant dream, in the midst of this cruelty and darkness?
Now, this sentence is even more incredible: “I will wait, till my change comes.” The word for “change” in Hebrew is “chalifa,” which means “exchange!” Job was waiting for God to exchange his old body for his new one. This really blows my mind.
Even among the prophets of Israel, have we ever seen such a revelatory, insightful prophecy about the return of the Lord Yeshua, as the following words from this tormented non-Israelite man who lived almost 2,000 years before the birth of Yeshua?

“For I know that my Redeemer lives, and He shall stand at last on the earth; and after my skin is destroyed, this I know. That in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!” (19:25-27).

Despite his feelings of abandonment from the Lord, Job knew that he had an advocate in heaven, a friend, an intercessor. Job knew that even if he died, His God would raise him from the dead. Job’s testimony to his friends silenced the enemy’s terrible two-edged sword which he had wielded to separate Job from his Lord.
Satan tempted Job to despise the Lord for this cruel injustice. Satan incited the Lord to allow him to harm Job, by accusing Job before God’s throne. Job silenced the enemy by his faith, against all odds, that God was good and God was loving. And Job was indeed, blameless.

For the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down.
And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death (Rev. 12:10b-11).

Second Excerpt

Glory and Testing

I know this is the truth, because of the tests that have come upon me personally. They always come just at a moment when the Lord is taking me to a new depth of consecration and union with Messiah. A test comes just when I am about to cross over into the next allotment of my inheritance, which is the fully crucified life. The personal two-part test I’m about to share is terrible, and I have absolutely no desire to share it publicly. However, it will save many of the Lord’s people from ruin, and for the sake of the Lord’s flock, He desires me to be transparent with you.
Part 1 – The Stranger’s Kiss

I have previously written about what I call “power dreams.” These are unusual dreams that are accompanied by a high level of the power of God. This power disturbs my sleep and impacts my body with the discomfort of the Lord’s glory. It causes me to tremble as I am dreaming, and I often curl up tightly on my side, so as to “minimize” the impact of the glory.
In 2007 I had such a dream, which lasted more than four hours. It came during the season when my first book was being published, and in fact, I could see a banner over this lengthy dream scene, which read, “Coffee Talks with Messiah.” It began at around midnight, and I saw the Lord Yeshua facing a crowd of people. I was standing next to the Lord and slightly behind Him. I watched and listened intently, as the Lord taught and imparted truths to His flock. His back was turned towards me as He faced the crowd. At the same time, He was also teaching me how to bring His people into deeper intimacy with Him. Somehow, the entire dream was about this book and how it would bring people closer to the Lord.
At times, the Lord and I were ministering together, like a team. Sometimes, I would simply watch the Lord Yeshua teaching. At other times, He would instruct me what to do to bless the people, and I would obey. At still other times, I somehow became the Lord and was doing the very things He would have done, but these impartations were entrusted to me. I did not see the Lord’s face.
One theme was that we were covering the people with the Lord’s prayer shawl (called a tallit in Hebrew). You may remember that when Ruth crept down to the threshing floor and lay at Boaz’s feet, she said to him, “Spread the corner of your garment over me, for you are my kinsman redeemer.” When the redeemer covers his bride-to-be with the corner of His garment, it is a loving gesture of protection and betrothal. It was exactly this gesture that the Lord desired me to impart to His flock. At one point, He told me to grasp the edge of His large tallit, slowly lift it up and spread it across the heads of the crowd, from left to right. As I obeyed in the dream, I felt my left arm raise up in bed, and I completed the spreading motion in the air. The tallit formed a canopy over His people. The Lord had me repeat this gesture two more times.
At this point, the Lord suddenly turned around to face me. The face I saw surprised me, for it was not what I expected the Lord should look like. He seemed different from the back view I had been observing, although He was wearing the same white garments. He had short, jet-black hair, and His eyes were black and narrow. He grabbed my shoulders and suddenly kissed me hard. He wanted us to leave the crowd and said, “C’mon. It’s just you and me.”
I felt strange about the way His face looked and the way He grabbed me; it did not seem loving, but felt forceful. I wondered why the Lord would want to be alone with me when we were ministering to His people so lovingly. The flock needed us, and there was still work to do!
I was confused, because it seemed to be the same person who I had been ministering with all that time, who had simply turned around to face me. And yet something felt wrong. I quickly tried to calculate if the Lord would feel insulted if I rebuked Him, thinking it might be satan. I decided that it was safer to rebuke this person, and if it turned out to be the Lord, He would understand that I was trying to protect myself from deception. I said, “The Lord rebuke you!”
Instantly, the “stranger” was gone, and the dream resumed with the Lord’s back towards me again, continuing our ministry as if there had been no interruption. This continued until I woke up at 4:50 a.m. I looked at the clock and went back to sleep for one more hour. This time, I found myself in the middle of the worst seduction dream I have ever experienced, and one which eventually morphed into a virtual reality.
While the description of the dream below is not at all graphic, I would encourage the reader to pray before reading it, that the Holy One would cover your mind and heart from any defiling images.

Part 2 – The Test of Balaam

I was in a western rodeo bar and lounge, and my attention was focused on a sweet young woman who was hanging out there. She had black, shoulder-length hair, pale skin and dark eyes, and was wearing a classic, cream-colored sleeveless dress with a high neckline, and which fell just below her knees. She seemed innocent and naïve as I looked at her, and I felt concerned when I observed a stranger watching her, unnoticed. I felt like I was “on her side,” and didn’t want him to get to her.
He had short black hair and narrow black eyes. At that moment, I knew he looked familiar and unpleasant, but I hadn’t retained a memory of the previous dream. In this scene, he wore modern clothes you might see in a rodeo bar. He was muscular, with bulky chest and arms, and I knew he was planning to seduce her. At times, I was merely observing this girl, but at other times, I could feel all that she was feeling. There was some type of identification I felt with her, which was unclear until the last second of this dream. She did not know that he was watching her or that he was a predator, and I felt worried about her falling into his trap. I could not communicate with her, for some reason, being merely an observer. He watched her for a long time, and I knew his intentions were to get her into a back room of the lounge and seduce her.
In the next scene, I was the woman, and I was standing in a narrow passageway, leading to some back rooms. The man started to come through the passage and squeezed past me, as if he was trying to get by me to go toward the back. However, he acted like there was not enough room for him to get by me, and he was actually trying to push me backwards along the long hallway with his large body. I pushed myself back against the wall as flat as possible, and said, “Just go past me!” He knew I was not going anywhere. He pushed by me, pretending to continue, but stopped soon, when he realized I wasn’t going with him.
The scene changed. I was still the woman. I found myself in another passageway, where there was a mechanical bull with very long, curvy, sharp horns. This evil bull had a muscular chest and the face of a man, and it was mechanically bucking, like at a rodeo. But its head was moving in a deliberate way as to try to gore me with those sharp horns. It kept turning its head this way and that, trying to gore me, but I kept deftly pushing against the wall, barely avoiding those horns.
In the final scene, I was no longer the woman but was observing her again as an outsider. However, I could feel everything she was feeling. She was seated in a chair in a passageway. The man knelt at her feet, and began to kiss her feet. He then continued, kissing her legs. She protested, “You’re going too far.”
He stopped, looking up at her as if she had hurt his feelings. In a moment of misplaced sympathy, she then uttered the equivocal statement which would determine the outcome of this seduction. She said, “I love it, but you’re going too far.”
The moment she uttered those words, the dream no longer existed, and I was instantly aware of a sexual assault which was occurring to me as I still slept. My mind tried to wake up as I suddenly felt this unthinkable assault in its initial stage. Looking back on this terrible moment, I now realize that this was not actually impacting my physical body. However, the Scriptures teach that we have a “spirit body” which feels exactly like our earthly body during encounters of a spiritual nature, whether from the Lord or the enemy (see 2 Cor. 12:2-4, Mt. 4:5-11, Rev. 4:1-2, Eze. 8:3, 11:24, 1 Kings 18:12, 2 Kings 5:26). What was happening to me felt absolutely physical.
We see this same confusion when Paul wrote, “I know a man in Christ who was caught up to the third heaven, whether in the body or the spirit, I do not know” (see 2 Cor. 12: 2-3). Paul could not tell if he was caught up to heaven in his earthly or spirit body, because they felt identical. Likewise, Peter had a bodily experience with an angel, which he thought was only happening in his spirit in a vision (see Acts 12:9).
My mind flew into a panic, trying to grasp what was happening. I knew I had to rebuke this thing immediately, or this vile act would continue to its completion. Still partially asleep, I heard myself say aloud, “I renounce you! I rebuke you!” And at that moment, it was gone. The whole assault may have lasted three seconds, the time it took me to wake up enough to rebuke it.
The dream had suddenly been replaced with what felt like physical reality, at the speed of thought. I was stunned and horrified as I got up to spend my early morning time with the Lord. I remembered that almost two years earlier, He had warned me that the next time I would face a test of seduction, it would be far more powerful than the first test. This earlier test took place in a dream which is recorded in my first book. The Lord had also warned me that the consequences for failing would be far more deadly, even a matter of life or death. I’m not sure what He meant by that, but I certainly did not want to find out.
We are in a real battle and the stakes are very high. There are casualties and consequences of failure to overcome the onslaughts of the evil one. Whether the church is ready or not, these terribly devised strategies are coming and even now are upon the Lord’s chosen ones to destroy them. Just as Balaam found the perfect strategy of seduction to destroy Israel before they crossed over into their inheritance, so the enemy is looking to defile the Lord’s army before they can reap the final harvest.
I realized that this terrible test took place after an awesome four-hour power dream, where I was learning to minister to the Lord’s people as He ministered to them through me. This ministry is a type of the “Promised Land,” in which we will move with the very words, feelings, healings and impartations that the Lord desires to impart to His people.
But instead of waking up excited and happy about all that the Lord had taught me in the heavenly dream, I was disgusted by what the enemy was permitted to do to me at the ending of the second dream. Apparently, he was granted this permission because “the woman” was too concerned with not hurting the stranger’s feelings and was too weak in protesting his strong enticements. On the other hand, the enemy’s permission to assault me was limited, while I was granted a few seconds to wake up and use my only weapon before it was too late. I realized when I awoke that the woman must have been a thinly disguised “me,” since I was the one under attack, the moment she failed her test. The dream ended at the very same moment that my nightmarish reality began.
This taught me that at least in some cases, we are held responsible for what we do in dreams. The enemy can be granted permission to assault us based on how we respond to tests in our dreams, if these tests and assaults are permitted by the Lord. I do think that there may be some dreams where we do weird and uncharacteristic things which the Lord does not hold us responsible for. I am adding this so that the reader does not fall into unnecessary guilt over various behaviors in dreams.
It happens that the night I finished writing this section, I dreamed that I did recreational drugs with my brother. I have no idea why I did that, since I have not used any substances for over thirty years, nor have I ever dreamed about doing drugs. But just after writing that we are responsible for our behavior in dreams, this dream occurred. When I woke up, I repented for having used drugs in my dream, just in case the Lord held me responsible. In the case of the seduction test, however, I was indeed held responsible.
As I discussed this awful incident with the Lord, I knew that He did not want me to take offense at what He had permitted to happen to me. I would have previously said that the Lord would never let something like that happen to a believer who was not sinning or opening any unclean doors in her life or thoughts. But the fact of the matter is that He did permit it.
Therefore, we need to know how terrible the onslaughts will be in these last days against those who strive to walk at the highest and holiest levels of intimacy with the Lord Jesus.

Third Excerpt

“I Will Come To You”

For the next two weeks, I experienced a number of powerful anointings from the Lord’s Spirit. He seemed to be with me constantly in a very strong and tangible way during this period. I waited on Him in my chair regularly, after worship and prayer, and experienced His glory a number of times. The following promise came during one of these glory visitations, on March 17th, 2006.
It was midmorning, and I had been in my chair for quite some time, overcome with weakness from the level of the Lord’s glory. I knew I had a ministry-related lunch appointment coming up, and I was concerned that I needed to get ready. However, I had to lie down instead, because I was in no condition to just get up and begin my chores, in preparation for this lunch meeting. The Lord told me to wait, saying that I was still in His strong presence and should not attempt any normal activity. He was absolutely right, so I just waited. While waiting, I wondered, “I wonder what I’m pregnant with.”
His Spirit answered, “I will come to you before the end of the year.”
I was very happy to hear this, but was immediately doubtful that I heard correctly. I did not want to base my hopes on a false promise which the Lord did not actually promise me. I knew it would be devastating to wait and hope for the rest of the year, but never receive the desired visitation.
I said, “Lord, how can I know for sure that this is from You, so I don’t get my hopes up and then be disappointed later if it wasn’t You?”
In Genesis 15:1-7, the Lord made a very great promise to Abraham. In verse 6 we see that Abraham believed God. And yet in verse 8, Abraham asks, “O Sovereign Lord, how can I know that I will gain possession of it?”
The Lord was not upset with Abraham for asking how he could know for sure, and He gave him a great sign of the covenant to prove it. It was comforting to me to know that although I believed God’s promise, it was not wrong to ask, “How can I know that this is true?”
The Lord answered me, “You will not be able to move for five minutes.”
I waited a few seconds, and then tried moving my fingers and hands, which I was still able to do. I thought that maybe I had heard wrongly.
Then I felt a slight pain and pressure applied to one precise spot on my middle spine. From the level of the spinal column that I perceived this touch, I wondered if the Lord was “paralyzing” my legs. I tried to move my legs…I couldn’t move them! Fear and panic swept over me momentarily. I tried moving them again and they felt like cement, and could not budge.
Then I felt happy, because I felt this was my assurance that the Lord would come to be before the end of the year.
I watched the clock with some slight trepidation that the paralysis was permanent, and as soon as the five minutes had elapsed I said, “Lord, my five minutes are up. I want to move my legs in Jesus’ name.” Then I tried moving them; my knees unlocked and I was able to move them again.
Three weeks later, I would experience the wonder of the Lord Yeshua as a personal friend during my three days. I wondered if this was the fulfillment of the promise that He would come to me. The Lord had indeed come to me during those three days, but not in an open vision where my eyes could behold Him. I hoped very much that my three days were not the fulfillment of this promise, but that it was yet to take place.
The year passed with much awesome activity taking place in my life and ministry. Nine months after the original pregnancy word from March 1st, I found that I had just completed my first book. Perhaps this had been the birth He was referring to, and yet the Lord had promised me something else…
As the end of the year approached, I grew nervous. What if it didn’t happen? What does a person do with that? Obviously, the Lord cannot lie. Did I hear wrongly? But my legs, I couldn’t move my legs. That had been my sign! Was it a psychological paralysis?
And yet, December came and went, with no obvious visitation. I tried to think of some other interpretation by which it might still be fulfilled. When we are trusting and yet doubting, we try to find a way to believe that the prophecy will yet be fulfilled. As December waned, Katya gave me a word she felt was from the Lord. It said (approximately), “The Lord doesn’t necessarily mean our normal calendar year.”
Then I thought, “Maybe the Lord meant a full year from the date that He promised me. That would be March 17th, 2007. So I waited in diminishing hopes for that date to come. But it too, came and went. At that point, my faith in my ability to hear wavered. Could I have made it up? It made me wonder if I had ever gotten anything right that I heard from the Lord. That is what is so devastating about unfulfilled promises. They can really damage a believer’s faith. But beloved, things are not always as they seem.

He Beckoned Me!

Six days later, on March 23rd I sat down for my coffee talk. According to later calculations, this was my 118th official coffee talk with the Lord, from the end of my three days until that moment. It was a day like any other. I discussed with the Lord my worries about the coming Passover Seders and all my compressed responsibilities. Then I talked to Him about some difficulties I was having with a particular personal relationship in my life. As often would occur after a time of discussion, journaling or Bible reading, I lay on my face before the Lord, just worshiping Him and pouring love on Him.
Up until this particular day, I would happily stay on the floor until I would sense the Holy Spirit “inviting” me to come up for our closing resting time under the tallit on the bed. However, I noticed He wasn’t inviting me, and I began to wonder how long I should stay down there. I felt the Lord nudging me to return to my rocking chair. I did so, but with some insecurity. I sensed that the Lord would not initiate the invitation, but rather, that He wanted me to ask Him if I could come over now.
I felt too insecure to ask. I thought, “What if I ask and He doesn’t answer me? And I’m just sitting there…that would be the most awful, uncertain feeling.” Silence reigned as I looked down into my lap. Finally, I knew I was supposed to ask. So, still looking down, I mustered my courage and said, “Lord, could I come over and lie with You?”
I looked up, expecting to see my usual empty air space over the bed. Instead, I saw the Lord Jesus Christ, opposite me in the same space where I always picture Him to be. I will share with you all the impressions I can recall from this brain-freezing moment of my life.
I saw a Man who was tall and relatively large, although not supernaturally large. He was not at all transparent, or spirit-like. He appeared as solid and real as we are. He was clothed in elegant, yet understated white garments, seemingly composed of at least three layers. The whiteness of this garment was not glowing or dazzlingly white, as some have been granted to see, but it was simply white. I had the impression that there were some other colors involved in this clothing, but I didn’t have time to assess this. I sensed from His almost “normal” appearance, that the Lord had not come to me in His heavenly bright splendor, but had come humbly in such a way as not to dazzle or impress, but to reassure. It struck me that He was utterly unselfconscious. He was not trying to come across in any particular way, but He was there simply to answer my question with a visual response, rather than a verbal one.
His hair was neither black nor white. It seemed to be either brown or chestnut, yet possibly streaked with lighter strands, possibly white streaks. The Lord had a gentle beard that was not overly long, but seemed rather neat. I would estimate that His beard was the same color as His hair, but had no time to judge all these artistic matters. I could not discern the color of His eyes, because of His head position.
This Man, who I knew beyond a doubt to be my very own Yeshua the Messiah, was looking slightly down at me, and He was using two different body gestures, one right after the other, to beckon me over to our resting place. The first gesture I saw was His head tipped slightly back, as one would signal someone to come forward by an upward motion of the head, with their eyes looking down at you from a slightly elevated position. Immediately following that, the Lord lifted His left hand and using only a quick motion of His fingers, beckoned me to come. Both gestures used the minimal movement needed to convey His meaning.
The expression on the Lord’s face was quite serious, almost stern. Although He did not speak to me, the message I felt His expression carried was, “Just come, just come. Why are you hesitating, why should you be insecure? Just come already.” I could have even thought there was some impatience in His gesture, as if to say, “I shouldn’t have to do this. You should know that I want you.” However, I can’t be sure these were His exact feelings.
As soon as He was certain I had seen and understood the invitation, He seemed to rise to take His leave. As the Lord rose, I started to notice more about His garment. It went down to the floor, and was composed of hundreds of perfectly folded ripples of material, such as the finest drapery, only infinitely finer in its detailed and multitudinous foldings. As He stood, I saw an elegant swirling motion of the fabric near the floor. Like poetry in motion was the bottom of His garment. I noticed that there was a thicker layer of fabric on His shoulders, seemingly laid over His main garment. It seemed to jut out beyond the breadth of His shoulders with a square edge. Later, after much pondering, I realized that many Jewish men fold up their prayer shawls back over their shoulders in such a way as to create a flat, rectangular extension of their shoulders. I believe this may have been what I saw across Yeshua’s shoulders, although I didn’t see a recognizable prayer shawl.
And then He simply wasn’t there anymore. The whole thing may have lasted four or five seconds. In stunned and perplexed reassurance, I quickly obeyed this personal invitation, and as I had always done, I lifted up the corner of His tallit and quietly and gently lay down with my beloved. This tiny visit, this inspiring yet fleeting encounter, so awed me that it gave birth to new songs and poetry, which soon afterward would become my second CD, appropriately titled, “Beckon Me.”